How should we judge a government?

In Malaysia, if you don't watch television or read newspapers, you are uninformed; but if you do, you are misinformed!

"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing." - Malcolm X

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience - Mark Twain

Why we should be against censorship in a court of law: Publicity is the very soul of justice … it keeps the judge himself, while trying, under trial. - Jeremy Bentham

"Our government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other. " - Ronald Reagan

Government fed by the people

Government fed by the people

Career options

Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?
Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?

When there's too much dirt...

When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.

Prevent bullying now!

Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Neologisms

Before we could even master English, more meanings are being created for old words and more words are being created for old meanings! (sigh)

New Meanings for Old Words
: (from the Washington Post annual Neologism Contest)

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Shiftless (Adj.) describes people too lazy to use upper-case letters in their e-mail.

Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Peripatetic (n.), One who wanders around aiding the pitiful.

Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

New Words for Old Meanings:

Frisbeetarianism (n.). The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Aquadextrous (adj). Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

Carperpetuation (n.) The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

Disconfect (v.) To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove all the germs.

Elbonics (n.) The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

Frust (n.) The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until she finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

Lactomangulation (n.) Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "'illegal" side.

Peppier (pehp ee ay') (n.) The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

Phonesia (n.) The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

Pupkus (n.) The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

Implowed (adj.) Trapped by packed snow pushed into the driveway by a passing snow plow.

Telecrastination (n.) The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Awkword (n.) A word that is difficult to pronounce. (example: "similarly")

Anecdotage (n.) Advanced age where all one does is relate stories about "the good old days."

Link

2 comments:

julian said...

wow where did you come across such jems?????? you made my day gain mate

KoSong Cafe said...

Thanks Julian. For this and other gems, I must thank my regular contributors like Bayi, Peter, CS, KC, Kenneth, and others who share with me what they think are interesting or at least funny.

I believe the internet is borderless and what may seem like stale news or joke locally can be interesting to those in other countries as well as those who have not come across it.

What I post will reveal more about me - my likes and dislikes (eg. actual acts of killing or maiming which I try not to show).