More hospital tales...

At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

'Big breaths,' I instructed.

'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes, St.Thomas's, Bath.

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart'.

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have you been bedridden?'

After a look of complete confusion she answered, 'Why? Not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent

Unwittingly appropriate sign:


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